Inspired-Life

I don’t know how.

I’m at a loss for words here…I’m not even sure how to be myself anymore. I’m always looking for inspiration, and not just to motivate my personal ideas. But to find who I’m supposed to be. I feel like a copy. A fake. and replica. and I don’t even know why. I think those words have such a negative stereotype con-notated to them that it intimidates those who feel labeled by them. In reality though, those feelings of fakeness just show that the world around you has brainwashed you with so many images of what you’re NOT that you don’t feel real anymore. I think you just need to sit down, take a breather, turn off your phone, don’t look at pictures, and know that you’re ENOUGH. you’re strong enough, you’re good enough, you’re pretty enough. you’re so much more than that. you’re beautiful. unique. wonderful. you are fearfully and wonderfully made. 

fed up.

Is it so wrong that I’d rather hear, “I love everything you stand up for in life” rather than, “Wow, you’re pretty”….?

Songwriters

Everyone one these singer/songwriters, you know, (the kind that teenage girls spend their nights singing covers of, crying to the lyrics)..secretly I’m jealous of them. I wish I could turn all my past failures, the heartbreaks, the letdowns, the stupid mistakes into a catchy little song that I could record and somehow let him listen to. Sometimes I’d like to stop pretending that I don’t care, that he left me and I was so much better off. (In reality, I’ve finally realized that is true. But that doesn’t mean my heart didn’t pay a price to reach that conclusion) I just want everyone that’s ever hurt me to KNOW. I want to present a well drawn out line of words showcasing the point that yeah, at one point, you completely killed me. But now, I’ve taken back control and I’ve learned to stand again. Not only that, but I did not delete you or remove you, only for you to someday see how fucking happy I am without you. 

My what..? Bestfriend? Oh. I think you meant my other half. Yeah, she wrote this (:

Best friends.. Why do we have them? They know all our scandelous secrets that could ruin us, and we can’t ever get away with anything because they always know when we’re lying. They’ve seen us with no make up done, they have embarrasing pictures of us on their friends… They never have thier phones on them when you call, and they take FOREVER to text back.
Truth is, we don’t keep them around just so we can say “Ohhh you have a best friend?? I have a bestfriend too!” Nawhh, we have them because they’ve seen us at our worst, and still they are by our sides because they really get us. We have them because they’re the funnest person to be around. They know all of our faults, and accept them; and in return, they expect us to do the same. We keep them around because we love them, and miss them the second their gone ♥

It’s not your life anymore.

You know what I just realized? You really aren’t that great. You really aren’t all you’re cracked up to be. You really don’t deserve the attention I give you. The dreams I used to have? They’re worthless now. I know this won’t affect you, but I’m throwing everything away. I’m taking back the reigns, and your power is at an end. 

I wish I could turn my mind off.

Overthinking, over analyzing..both of these are hobbies of mine. I don’t mean to. I honestly don’t try to. And I sure as hell don’t  l i k e  to. But I’ve been reckless once before. And I was scarred worse than I’d imagined I could be. I’m not one to rush into things. I’m not one to repeat mistakes. I’m just lonely. And I’m scared. And sometimes I’m not even sure what I’m scared OF. But one of these days, I’m going to embrace my life. I’m going to live. I’m going to be who I am, to my full extent. I won’t be scared anymore. That’s the day I’ll come alive.

We choose who we let in our lives.

I don’t want to be like everyone else. I want to be different. I want to be a part of your life, but I want it to be by your choice. When you first meet me, I want you to feel like you can tell me anything, because you can. Always. I will never judge you for your past, and I will never look down on you. I want you to know that when you’re walking through life, I’m right by your side. I’ll comfort you, love you, challenge you, be with you. I want to brighten your day, every chance that I get. Will you please let me in?

Wow. That's really the only word for it.